“Defying Gravity”

My mom passed away on April 5, 2025. The hospice nurse told my dad and I that morning that she probably only had 48 hours left to live. She’d been asleep for days, all of us coming in and out of her room watching her sleep, talking to her, hoping she heard us.

When I was growing up, my family and I always had movie nights. Mom loved popcorn, so we all love popcorn. We’d pop our own bags, sit close on the couch, and watch. Mom was notorious for talking through movies. She’d chat and ooh and ahh. My boys and I still jokingly say during movies, “NiNi, we can’t hear the movie.”

Our tradition of movies and popcorn became part of the grandkids’ lives too. The boys would pick a movie, and my oldest would make everyone popcorn. Then, we’d all huddle on the couch next to NiNi. She’d talk; we’d laugh; we’d all eat popcorn.

On April 5, we all gathered in her room and turned on Wicked. Mom loved a musical. She would sing every word she didn’t know. We popped our popcorn, talked through the movie, and sang. Ten minutes after Elphaba finished singing “Defying Gravity,” Mom passed away.

I’ve been wondering if she heard the movie end and heard us all singing and talking and crunching popcorn. I’ve been wondering if she thought it was finally okay to let go. She’d suffered so much the last year of her life. Chemo is terrible. But, Mom kept trying to smile for us. She was always smiling.

I don’t know if I’ll ever watch that movie again, but I’m so thankful I got to watch it with her. I hope she enjoyed us singing. She’s always been the one “Defying Gravity,” so it’s fitting that’s the last song she heard.

Mom, thank you for being the best of us. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for being a mom who loved to cuddle and hug and kiss. Thank you for loving us so big that we don’t know how not to love big ourselves. We love you forever. Sweet dreams. Goodnight. God bless you

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